921649141 wrote: ↑Fri Apr 17, 2020 6:20 am
Generally, the essay focused on the pursuing dreams under the condition of hardships from the perspective of students’ respect and women roles in marriage. It is marvelous that the organization and design is very clear due to the subject sentences’ conciseness. Also, the evidences abstracted from the movies are convincing with appropriate words. However, the title “cultural essay” could not signify the writer’s main idea. And the conclusion is OK, but needs improving if sublimated. And the words of the summary in the first paragraph need more simplifications. Moreover, the two sub-points might not be included/ concluded by the main point, from where the viewer stands. To be more specific, pursuing dreams should not embrace the students’ respect and women roles in marriage according to the logic. And it might look like the writer’s coercive artificial movement. Maybe the writer should change a way of writing to express the idea and the relation more apparently. And the viewer advises that the writer concentrate on one cultural norm/point if you have the empathy with me.
This is mostly about my suggestions for your essay. I don't want to repeat it again.Lol.Forgive my laziness.
921649141 wrote: ↑Fri Apr 17, 2020 6:20 am
Generally, the essay focused on the pursuing dreams under the condition of hardships from the perspective of students’ respect and women roles in marriage. It is marvelous that the organization and design is very clear due to the subject sentences’ conciseness. Also, the evidences abstracted from the movies are convincing with appropriate words. However, the title “cultural essay” could not signify the writer’s main idea. And the conclusion is OK, but needs improving if sublimated. And the words of the summary in the first paragraph need more simplifications. Moreover, the two sub-points might not be included/ concluded by the main point, from where the viewer stands. To be more specific, pursuing dreams should not embrace the students’ respect and women roles in marriage according to the logic. And it might look like the writer’s coercive artificial movement. Maybe the writer should change a way of writing to express the idea and the relation more apparently. And the viewer advises that the writer concentrate on one cultural norm/point if you have the empathy with me.
This is mostly about my suggestions for your essay. I don't want to repeat it again.Lol.Forgive my laziness.
Thank you so much! I almost lost this reply since the website is still new to me. Thank you again and I'll definitely change the title and use your suggestions thank you.
Struggles of Chasing Dreams
The first film we watched, And The Spring Comes, which focuses on the life and hardships faced by Wang Tsai Ling, a vocal teacher with aspirations of becoming a famous opera singer. While she strives to complete her own goal, she meets other artists and singers who are struggling and attempting to find their path to success as well in this cold world. While in Mona Lisa Smile, Katherine Watson is a newly graduated art history teacher trying to get a full-time position in a women’s campus called Wellesley. Although, this campus is teaching women traditional views of life and marriage rather than the progressive beliefs Watson has in her own life. While she values the idea of women being able to choose marriage and a job, her students are being taught that marriage is the only key to success and happy life. Both films showcase society’s ideals of normality through marriage and cultural viewpoints. Still, these protagonists are attempting to break free from these cultural norms through their dreams and their own choices in life.
An example of cultural norms that can be analyzed to differentiate these films is the student’s relationship with their respected elders/ teachers. The film Mona Lisa Smile shows the struggles of Watson as she attempts to educate her students and succeed with her dream of getting a job. Although, it is difficult for her because her students talk over her voice, believe they know everything there is to her lecture, and give her a disrespectful attitude. There is even a student, Betty, who writes an editorial on campus where multiple sections of the paper as focused on degrading teachers on her campus and tarnishing their reputation and getting the school nurse fired. These students harassed previous teachers according to Watson’s co-workers, and it was difficult for her to stand her ground as an educator, a higher-up, in comparison to the students who should be learning from her. Meanwhile, And The Spring Comes, shows Chinese students respecting their teachers with the willingness to improve and learn from their higher-ups. Even when these students have the basic skills of singing, they still follow the lessons and ask for help in achieving their goals, ultimately wanting to improve themselves with the help of their teacher. This is the opposite compared to the students in Wellesley who believe they know everything, have a negative attitude towards teachers and don’t want to improve themselves within the classroom.
The idea of marriage and women’s roles is apparent within these films as well. Wellesley women are taught courses on being a proper wife and how to handle situations surrounded her husband’s job rather than her dreams/ career. Joana never put thought into attending Yale because she figured her goal was to marry a man and that was it, even when she was accepted into this Law School. She chose to follow her husband to make him happy with the five p.m. dinner on the table housewife. This university gave married students leeway with their learning, and Betty expected that her missing the midterm and six class lectures with her honeymoon and moving into her new married life as an excuse because other teachers ‘turned their head’ to these scenarios. When Wang visits her family, she is bombarded with questions regarding her finding a man to marry and Wang tells Huang, an aspiring artist, that she would give up her own dreams and support him with marriage. Watson was in a similar situation as her students continuously discussed her marital status amongst themselves. Betty even used this as a form of harassment since she was married while Watson was single or in a recent breakup with her fiance.
In reality, we should be able to follow our own dreams and pursue what we want in life. Though, in these films, it becomes clear that social and cultural traditions make that difficult when those around us believe in traditional values that clash with our own views. Both of these women fought for their views; they positively affected others’ lives around them. An example being, Betty in Mona Lisa Smile learned that there is more out there than just being a housewife as she can find her path to success possibly through Law school. That is why even though one may be chasing their dreams, it’s a long chase as there are new challenges and obstacles ahead until they reach they succeed with their own path, Katherine Watson, or give up on their dreams, Wang Tsai Ling, as she gave up trying to be a famous opera singer.
Reflection Response 1) What were your expectations for the border-crossing activity? Are your expectations met? Why or why not?
My expectations from this activity from my professor's explanation were us exchanging ideas, culture, and just generally talking to other students in China in relation to the film and our perspectives on it. In general, I believe my expectations were met. Honestly, I think this activity went beyond my expectations as I was able to communicate with both my Chinese partners outside of this website through WeChat. We all established a decent bond with each other through this exchange activity. I was able to communicate in English but also practice my Chinese writing which was really cool and they were extremely helpful. We also discussed our cultures and general perspectives on the film and why we agree, or disagree, on certain portions of the film.
2) Please name three things that struck you most when you interacted with the Chinese peers, and explain why. (You may comment on the differences and/or similarities in lexical choice, writing style, idea presentation, rhetorical preference, cultural convention etc.)
I believe both papers I read with my Chinese peers were structured the same way, which isn't a bad thing it just shows how they were taught in the same environment/ style of writing. Both premises of their essays lead to a logical conclusion that flowed well and made sense. I also thought it was fascinating how they both focused on the cinematic views of the film, such as colors and how the overall emotion of it. Rather than just general themes of dreams, which me and my classmate both focused on. In general, I feel as though their essay was well written to the point I wouldn't have known a non-native English speaker wrote these papers, they both fit the American classroom well. When I spoke to both students on WeChat they told it was difficult for them to write but they followed the writing style/procedure they were both taught throughout their life in their English classes.
3) Did you incorporate what had been discussed into the revised draft? If so, please elaborate on how the discussion had led to the revisions you made. If not, please explain why.
I didn't have that many suggestions for my essay. Although, I did incorporate both suggestions my Chinese peers gave me. I thought they brought good points about emphasizing my goals surrounding the comparison between culture in the American film vs the Chinese film. When I re-read it I understood how my point may not have come across as well as I wanted so I added a few sentences and changed my wording. It lead to my revision since they were my audience and if it wasn't clear it definitely needed to be changed and rearranged to correctly make sense to everyone. I also didn't think much about titling my draft but I noticed both of my Chinese peers did and both told me to rename my work. When I originally submitted my draft it just didn't strike me but I did change it for my final piece to emphasize my topic before the audience even read my paper.
4) Do you think the activity is beneficial to you in terms of knowledge gains or skill enhancement? If so, please elaborate. If not, please explain why.
I find this activity really did help and should be continued. I wouldn't say it truly helped in terms of me gaining skill enhancements in Grammar as it is their second language. Although, it did help me in gaining knowledge about Chinese culture and I gained a new perspective on these films, language, and general understanding from their view of these themes/ topics within the film/ what we learned. I left this activity gaining two new friends to discuss culture, news, life, and general different opinions that are quite different from mine as I grew up in a totally different country/ environment from them. This activity really was an eye-opening experience for me and I still message my Chinese peers toa ask them different opinions about issues happening in the world and I get to view/ understand another culture's perspective. I was also assisted with my Chinese writing and learned new vocabulary which enhanced my Chinese skills.
6) Could you provide three adjectives to describe the activity? Please explain your choice.
interesting, philosophical, successful
I chose these words because I truly did gain knowledge outside of my usual daily life course teachings. As mentioned in previous questions I thought this activity was extremely successful for me and went beyond my expectations. I was able to gain a new perspective and understanding through this project and being able to discuss my ideas and their ideas to form a comprehensive understanding throughout it all. As stated above I also chose philosophical as a word because in my opinion I truly did gain more understanding that went beyond the classroom. We were able to discuss our opinions, interests, religion, news, etc and I was able to learn there are no boundaries when it comes to communicating. We were able to talk without being in person and we were able to discuss in both Chinese and English to improve ourselves and encourage each other to learn more about the other's culture/ daily life.
7) Could you provide three adjectives to describe your feelings about the activity? Please explain your choice.
exciting, important, different
Exciting because I found it extremely fascinating being able to discuss my ideas and perspective with my Chinese peers. Important because I believe it is important for if native English speakers to communicate with non-native speakers as we learn to view and understand their perspectives, culture, and ideas. Different because I never had a project like this before or an opportunity like this in College prior to this experience.If possible I think it is an activity that should be implanted in other courses as it truly was a great experience for me and I really enjoyed learning through this cultural exchange.
8) Any additional comments, suggestions, and observations you would like to make to better help us assess your performance in this activity?
Honestly, I thought this activity was great and I hope others feel the same way so this activity can continue for years to come. I think part of my experience was being able to easily communicate with these students through WeChat. In my Chinese classes, we all created a WeChat to communicate with each other and I think it would be helpful if my classmates downloaded WeChat and used it for this activity. Communication was a lot easier as it wasn't just on this website so I gained more knowledge outside of what 'had to be' commented on based on the syllabus. In a way, I think it made my peers more relaxed being able to discuss more than just the film through WeChat such as their views on events, news, food, interests, etc. I was able to gain more knowledge in culture and perspective using WeChat/ texting these students, hence why I recommend implementing this app for this portion of the course, or at least telling the American students about the app as an option for communication.
