My Literacy Autobiography
" shall I compare three to summer's day ? Thou are more lovely and more temperate" everytime I read the sonnet of Shakspere,someone will flash my brain. Yes, the sphinges is literacy, my fist lover and permanent lover. I love literacy as my life. I realize literacy is the best beautiful thing in the world.You see, one by one words can be weaved into a big picture.It is so strong and mystical! Not all things can be infatuated with by us. So, do you want to know how I fall in love with literacy?
Everything obey the rule big from small,late from begin. It was primary school when i really come up with literacy for the first time. It is my enlightenment and the starting point of my life sailing boat.I still remember that It was a hot day,and We sat quietly in the classroom.We were so sleep that We couldn't write something.Our Chinese teacher hunted around the classroom to see every students'writing.I was a member of in the heavy atmosphere.I stared at the greyish white picture aimlessly. We need created a new composition though observing the picture. I still remembered clearly what the picture look like are lots of lotus leaves and swimming fishes.Suddenly, a idea flashed though my mind, a sentence borned on my brain.I writed down quickly ;lotus leaves tell a story to little fish and the fish fell asleep. the teacher saw It and was glad to read it out loud.She praised me in the front of all class.Because I not only writed the content of the picture also used of the personification. Writing sentences like this is good for a grade 1 primary school student. I was so surprised, and i had never been thought i could write composition rather than do It well. i interested in writing late.My writing skills had a great improvement.my composition often was as the modle essay.
All in all, it's important for everything to have a good begining as that a great begining is half done. Enlightenment is a root of a big tree.I am so luck to meet a warm beginning and a strong root.
Then, I met a very important person when I was grade 4 primary school. he was my Chinese teacher too. He loves reading,i often saw him enjoined different books.He asked we to keep an diary everyday to improve our writing skill.I did well.Of course he realized me.He often found time to have a talk with me what interesting or important things.He suggested me to read some books and I did.Until now, I still keep the good habit to read something by my heart.reading as important as writing in literacy.reading can help writing become more better.After that i never found sense that myself immersed in the books again.later, i entered senior high school,my literacy story had a suspension because i am so busy that didn't have more freely time to read and write.Other reasons, the teachers' point were in grades.
Now, i am a college student,i have enough time again to read and write. And I begin to attach English literacy. It's a new world, my literacy story will begin.
My Literacy Autobiography
Re: My Literacy Autobiography
Hi Rong,
Overall Impression:
For your second post, while your attention to grammar and conventions decreased, your descriptive language and use of imagery soared. Interestingly, I am taking a Shakespeare class this semester and, literally just a couple hours ago, read from that sonnet for class. Your use of the sonnet’s quote was doubly effective! =] Your words paint a picture of your first encounter with literacy; I truly felt like I was sitting in the class with you, feeling the heat, staring at the drawing.
Focus:
I strongly resonate with your depiction of your relationship with literacy as just that—a relationship filled with affection. I also appreciated how you ended your topic sentence with a question to draw the reader’s attention even further. Your first two paragraphs particularly do a great job of telling of your relationship with literacy. However, I think you could have strengthened the metaphor in the last two paragraphs more, especially since it was more of a parting of ways later on.
Development:
Again, you did a good job keeping your audience in mind. I did not feel lost, and you provided enough context for any reader to understand your story.
Organization and Transitions:
Your transitions are solid here as well. I especially liked how you used your third paragraph as a transition paragraph. Your story is organized well by chronology, and you spend the bulk of your time on the parts that seem to be the most important to you.
Language, Grammar, Conventions:
One important note on grammar is to be careful when you are quoting people to write the quotation correctly. Another simple grammar features to pay attention to is to capitalize “I,” no matter where it is located in the sentence, but not to capitalize “we” unless it is at the beginning of a sentence; also, you can be on the lookout to space out your sentences after the periods.
Revision Emphasis:
I would perhaps have someone read through your essay with you to help you see little changes to help the reader understand better. There are several sentence arrangements and word choices that made it harder for me to understand your meaning; however, they are not significant changes.
And I have a question! What do you mean by, “the sphinges are literacy”? I am not familiar with that phrase.
Overall Impression:
For your second post, while your attention to grammar and conventions decreased, your descriptive language and use of imagery soared. Interestingly, I am taking a Shakespeare class this semester and, literally just a couple hours ago, read from that sonnet for class. Your use of the sonnet’s quote was doubly effective! =] Your words paint a picture of your first encounter with literacy; I truly felt like I was sitting in the class with you, feeling the heat, staring at the drawing.
Focus:
I strongly resonate with your depiction of your relationship with literacy as just that—a relationship filled with affection. I also appreciated how you ended your topic sentence with a question to draw the reader’s attention even further. Your first two paragraphs particularly do a great job of telling of your relationship with literacy. However, I think you could have strengthened the metaphor in the last two paragraphs more, especially since it was more of a parting of ways later on.
Development:
Again, you did a good job keeping your audience in mind. I did not feel lost, and you provided enough context for any reader to understand your story.
Organization and Transitions:
Your transitions are solid here as well. I especially liked how you used your third paragraph as a transition paragraph. Your story is organized well by chronology, and you spend the bulk of your time on the parts that seem to be the most important to you.
Language, Grammar, Conventions:
One important note on grammar is to be careful when you are quoting people to write the quotation correctly. Another simple grammar features to pay attention to is to capitalize “I,” no matter where it is located in the sentence, but not to capitalize “we” unless it is at the beginning of a sentence; also, you can be on the lookout to space out your sentences after the periods.
Revision Emphasis:
I would perhaps have someone read through your essay with you to help you see little changes to help the reader understand better. There are several sentence arrangements and word choices that made it harder for me to understand your meaning; however, they are not significant changes.
And I have a question! What do you mean by, “the sphinges are literacy”? I am not familiar with that phrase.
Re: My Literacy Autobiography
hi thank you for your suggestion. Thanks read my composition so carefully.The word you raised means something that its identity is secret , I want to metaphor literacy.Now I know It is a fault word choice.