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mlc5948 wrote: ↑Tue Apr 28, 2020 1:16 pm

I’m going to type a few minors errors/ corrections/ suggestions to you, these are again very minor so your audience can still understand your essay regardless if it is corrected or not. The first sentence in the first paragraph, “Here are two movies from different cultures and period, showing the common theme.” the wording is a bit strange to me because ‘here’ is first, if it was my own paper I would say “Movies are made from different cultures and periods yet they share a common theme.” I would just tweak this sentence slightly, it’s nothing extremely huge that changes the meaning, but it sounds a bit better/ flows better than your original. You can probably alter it in a similar way if you don’t want to use my suggestion.

In the second paragraph, “An art history teacher Katherine” I would change this sentence by adding her last name, so I would add ‘Watson’ after Katherine. It’s more proper as it’s her full name and some characters within the film call her Ms. Watson throughout the production.

I hope these suggestions can assist you with your final draft! I know they are very small changes. Your essay was already great so these suggestions can help it flow more. Thank you for reading and thank you for talking to me throughout this exchange.

Thanks for your sincere suggestions. It dawns on me like a kind of light on the way full of darkness. In other words, it definitely helped me in the writing style. My advice(the first text on cultural essay) for your article had been on the website for u. I hope we can still keep this friendship more than this activity. If you have any ideas or questions, I am always here on Wechat.

Beauty and ugliness-Mona Lisa smile V.S. And the Spring Comes
Movies are made from different cultures and periods yet they share a common theme. Mona Lisa Smile directed by Mike Newell, who always used kind of elegant British style, presented the audience with a scroll of beauty, where the heroin was acted by Julia Roberts. In contrast, And the Spring Comes whose director Gu Changwei was adept in employing inconspicuous details to express creative ideas, bestowed a melody of desperation upon the viewers, in which the heroin was performed by Jiang Wenli. Different from Julia, Jiang, a good-looking actress was purposefully uglified in the film. This passage is going to gradually dig out the beauty and ugliness from three perspectives.
An art history teacher Katherine Watson, who had just graduated, was introduced to a traditional girl school, where she imparted her progressive thoughts to her students. Though confronted with tough barriers, she used her innocent heart and exclusive teaching techniques, succeeding in free some girls’ ingrained notions. Nonetheless, Wang Cailing held a great dream with poor conditions. She was eager to be a singer in Beijing, or even in Paris, yet becoming a vocal music teacher in a small town where none understood her talents. And here were some others with the similar destiny, through ups and downs, could not get close to their aims at last.
What is beauty? What is ugliness? Attention caught by the surface could lie sometimes. Generally, the former demonstrates more beautiful an image than the latter from settings since it is more bright in color unlike the dark and dim style in the other. But the bright might signify the formidable conventions, seemingly marvelous but intangibly strangling. The dark and dim should serve as a foil to the art worker’s tough struggle under the heavy pressure. Also, such the pretty smiling Katherine versus the purposefully uglified Wang was definitely engraved. However, was Katherine beautiful when she forced her thoughts on Joan to choose career? Was Wang ugly in her dreams with kindness and fortitude? Beauty and ugliness could be converted to each other, in which the directors did an impressive job.
What is beauty? What is ugliness? “I would rather have one bite of a fresh peach than a whole basket of rotten ones.” answered by Wang. In other words, even if someone was covered in dirt, she should have her right to be pure and clean, to pursue the beauty. And Betty could not help wondering, “Mona Lisa is smiling. Is she happy?” when she was restricted by her families’ demands. Beauty here means freedom of the women. And it could have other meanings if applied to others, like Hu Jinquan the acceptance, Joan the independent option. In this way, it is not difficult to define the beauty and ugliness. When someone believed what she court was true and worthy to spare no effort to procure, what was beauty; otherwise, what was ugliness.
What is beauty? What is ugliness? It depends on the standard of situation. To be more specific, this must be accounted not only the intrinsic character of the object but also the extrinsic aptitude of the subject. Wellesley’s tradition was no doubt the most conventional but its education was extraordinarily impressive, begetting the last scene of students escorting teacher’s car going away in great gratitude and worship. Compared to the upper class cultivation, the small town could not have much access to the art, let alone the progressive feminism. Admittedly, the innocent folks should not be to blame in this way since they were so distant from the few Wangs who held great dreams. They could not discern beauty from ugliness. And that is why they left away from beautiful show performed by art workers one after another when facing the snow.
Beauty can be one’s appearances and virtues; also can be one’s unyielding spirits. Ugliness can be one’s envy and innocence; also can be one’s inactive instincts. It must be too demanding that everyone was able to scent out the beauty from ugliness in time. Nonetheless, that could not be an excuse. If the beauty is definitely beautiful in itself, it will ends with beauty acknowledged. What the ones who are not accessible or able to understand the beauty require doing is keep the heart of reverence and try to perceive the beauty’s beauty in any way possible. Regardless of Mona Lisa smile or And the Spring Comes, they both have beauty and ugliness, which is why the writer recommends you to watch.

Thanks for offering such a precious opportunity for us to share and exchange ideas with the American students, from which, we learn a lot about cultural differences. Meanwhile, our writing skills may be improved owing to the discussion.
We were holding great expectation on this interaction as it might contribute to our writing styles. We imagined that our words could become as smooth as the native speakers if possible. However, it did not work out in that way, more or less. Instead, we got many responses on cultural differences like the style on students’ answering teacher in class. The Americans are apt to answer directly with activeness, which can sometimes render the rudeness. In contrast, we Chinese tend to speak after raising hands, which may cause the inactiveness. After all, this is more like a kind of cultural touch concerning the movies. We could handle that. Moreover, we found that the Americans’ writings seem casual but with logic. In other words, they did not use many formal words but with integrated structures. Introduction, explanation, and conclusion all appear naturally though it may distinguish in virtue of the writers’ perceptions. In this aspect, the Chinese court the formal and gorgeous words and phrases, however losing attention to the main idea and construction. Furthermore, there were still a few demerits that we would like to point out. It demonstrated some students’ condescending attitudes on answering messages late though the time lag objectively was the culprit. We were eager to get responses while some American students did not answer even after a week.
Here are the tips that the cultural activities can make progress as the students from the two sides no doubt require more disciplines. Maybe a democratic option for those who are willing to join in the interaction could help. And the teachers should stipulate the details like the contents and the deadline.
All in all, the Border-Crossing Activity is a marvelous planform for the cultural and academic communication though with a few disadvantages. We wish it can progress as we expect.